"Bullying may be defined as the activity of repeated, aggressive behavior intended to hurt another individual, physically, mentally or emotionally. Bullying is characterized by an individual behaving in a certain way to gain power over another person. It can be classified into four types:
- Physical (hitting, punching, or kicking)
- Verbal (name-calling or taunting)
- Relational (destroying peer acceptance and friendships)
- Cyber-bullying (using electronic means to harm others)"
I'll start by saying that I am not an expert when it comes to bullying, so don't take everything I say to heart, or take offense, this is just my personal story and what bullying means to me. *thumbs up*
The Bully:
I was happy in Primary School, I had close friends and never experienced bullying so I was oblivious to it. Which isn't good, looking back I regret that I never stood up for the kids that were. It wasn't happening to me so I didn't realise it was happening.
It started in Secondary, when I was 11 years old. I was bullied by a girl that i'd never met before. I still to this day don't know why and I suppose I never will. The only reason I can think of is that we were the complete opposite. I never really cared much for makeup or styling my hair, I was quiet and preferred listen to my peers around me, rather than getting involved. She wore a face full of makeup, had her hair straightened every morning and loved being the centre of attention. We were 11 years old for god sake!!
I don't remember the exact day it started, I just remember being sat in form one morning and we were sat near each other and the name calling started. Spotty, frizzy hair, geek, snobby.. I didn't think I was any of those things until she told me I was. It was even worse when I got braces!!
The bullying was never physical, there was only one occasion where I stood up to her after the name calling and she threw sand in my face. You know in the science blocks where they have buckets of sand, just incase a bunsen burner gets a little cocky? She picked it up and threw the sand at me. In front of everyone. I remember bursting into tears and running to the toilets. I look back now and want to kick myself!! I should have stood strong and held my ground. Who did she think she was? What made her better than me? Eventually she got bored and after a year or two she left me alone. I don't know if she moved onto a different target or just grew up.
Frenemy:
I had a best friend when I was younger. We went to different Primary Schools, but lived across the road from each other so it never really bothered us. We spent all our free time together, playing outside, having sleepovers. I loved it. Nothing beats having a childhood best friend to grow up with. Then we went to Secondary School and I was so excited that we would be attending the same one! I had all these ideas of how great it would be, eating lunch together, getting the bus together..
I didn't realise how different it would be..
I didn't know any other people starting School so instantly latched onto her, we were in the same form so it was easy to follow her around and be her 'best friend'. She was making friends without me and slowly pushing me out. She was insanely clever, I really wasn't..her new friends were.
I knew instantly I didn't fit in, they put me down and patronised me and I just let them. We were best friends, I know she didn't mean it.
I'll never forget one occasion when my mum came upstairs to ask if I had been invited to a sleepover across the road. I answered that I hadn't, so my Mum sat me down and told me she had seen the other girls sneaking into my 'best friends' house across the road with their sleeping bags, running in making sure I hadn't seen them. I remember sitting, sobbing with my Mum, hugging me. I didn't know what I had done? How could they be so cruel? Why wasn't I invited? Did I embarrass them?
I never spoke to them again. I think my 'best friend' doing that forced me to step out of my comfort zone and meet new people. Which I did, so looking back now, i'm kind of grateful.
Again, I want to kick myself? The person I am now, would have made it known that I had seen them sneaking to her house, and let them know how they made me feel. Before giving them the finger, swishing my curly, frizzy hair and prancing away...what else can you do at that age?! Nobody needs friends like that! Never. No matter how long you have been friends with them, if they can treat you like that..calling you names, putting you down, going behind your back..they aren't your friends. They never really were.
You don't think there is a life beyond High School. I swear there is, and it may not be great but it's a whole lot better!!!
I know I probably got off lightly with bullying and compared to some people mine was nothing, but to me it felt like..everything. Remember that, before you judge someone who is being bullied, thinking 'bloody hell, is that it, get a grip it isn't that bad,' to you it isn't anything but to the person who is being bullied..it's crippling.
Bullying Help:
Tell someone if you are being bullied! I know this should be common sense but so many people suffer in silence. I never told anyone about the girl who threw sand in my face. I was embarrassed! Who wants to admit to being bullied? WELL YOU SHOULD. There is nothing to be ashamed off. Tell an adult, tell anyone. Anyone who will listen to you and take what you are saying seriously. There are so many helpful websites and phone lines that can offer advice and support, take use from them!
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