I joined Slimming World back in February and it has had, let's just say..it's ups and downs. At the start of the 'diet/lifestyle change' whatever the hell you want to call it, I was so strict and determined. I hardly had anything naughty and I stuck to my meal plans and shopping lists. I really wanted to do well and I know you shouldn't, but I did get a little competitive. It's natural. I wanted to do better every week and I was pretty harsh on myself really.
Then the inevitable happened and I completely lost it, for about 3 weeks I piss arsed about. Eating what I wanted, whenever I wanted. I still went back every week to group and I knew every week that I was going to see the weight creep back on and it did. +1, +3, +2..ect. Until I was pretty much back where I started, except for maybe a lb or 2.
It got to the point where I hated myself. I knew I only had myself to blame, no one forced me to have KFC, pizza and Mcdonalds. I just couldn't stop myself. Once you've fallen off it's so hard to get back into the right frame of mind. I always used to judge people before I started Slimming World, like 'how hard can it be to lose weight and stick it it, god!!'...
It's really bloody hard.
It's like, when you eat something bad, you're mind remembers all the deliciously naughty things you can have and before you know it, you've ordered Pizza Hut online, sat with a bottle of Kopparburg and a Salted Caramel Galaxy bar is on the side waiting for you.. Yes this did actually happen. On more than one occasion. I have no shame....
I managed to get back on it for a week or two..and I was really disappointed. I had really tried and stuck to it and only managed to lose half a lb a week. It gets to the stage where you think, what's the point? You just look at a Mcdonald's and manage to put on 2lb, yet when you really stick to it and be really good..you loose the tiniest amount.
Now i've just got back off a 10 days all inclusive holiday, and I didn't hold back. I don't eat MASSIVE portions, but I didn't even think about what I was eating. Pizzas, chips, ice cream. You name it, I had it. And the cocktails..my god the cocktails. I can't even count how many I had. Tonight will be my first weigh in and i'm fully expecting to have put on..a lot. I'll probably be back where I started. Which..i'm going to have to be okay with. I enjoyed my holiday and don't regret enjoying a freshly baked pizza, or a refreshing cocktail with Aaron. I need to remember that i'm only 23 and stop being so hard on myself! If I want a cocktail, i'll have one. I just need to pull it back throughout the week, save my syns up.
Slimming World is amazing, Aaron couldn't believe the things we can eat! Burgers, pasta, kebabs, ect it's just homemade, using fresh ingredients rather than a takeaway version. It really does work when you stick to it! I'm really determined now to get back into it, i'm sick to death of looking at my body and not liking what I see, comparing myself to everyone on Instagram who's skinnier or has a better bum than me..I do that alot. I am really horrible to myself. If someone else said the things to me, that I think about myself, i'd tell them to go **** themselves, but I find it acceptable for ME to think them about ME? How does that work?
I am going to get back into Slimming World as of tomorrow, Wednesday the 15th July, but i'm going to make a promise to be kinder to myself. If I only lose a lb a week, good on you! A lb of fat is a lot, don't be so disheartened, you're doing great!
I'd love to know how you stay positive and focused? Any ideas or meal inspiration would be hugely appreciated!
Rachael xo
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